Thursday, November 4, 2010

Marriage, the end or beginning?

I was hesitant to first bring this topic up because I don't want anyone to think I am marriage crazy (especially since I am in a relationship). But I couldn't help myself because it is everywhere! At least half of the girls from my graduating class are married, my best friend was recently married, facebook is loaded with wedding pictures, and celebrities are getting hitched left and right!

So with all the hype, the rings, the dresses and the googly eyed engagement pictures I began to wonder...Why do people get married?

The easy answer is to have kids or because two people are in love...but people are having babies without getting married and everyone falls in love more than once, sometimes.

In Utah, it's common for people in their early 20s to tie the knot and they love to share their journey with all their friends on facebook or through a blog, making it easy to get sucked into all the marriage hype. DON'T DENY IT! I know every girl sits on facebook and stalks all the new couples who have gotten married and begins thinking about their magical day.  But, is it the glitz and glam of weddings that grabs our attention? Or it is the lifelong commitment we desire that brings an end to those miserable blind dates and broken hearts?

I know it is both, yet with divorce rates so high I wonder when the right time is to be married! Guiliana and Bill Rancic were married in their late 30s and they seem like they've got their act together!

Courtney Cox and David Arquette seemed to have the perfect marriage...but now it's falling apart in the public eye. Oh! And what about Miley Cyrus' parents? After 17 years, they called it splits! On the other hand, Brad and Angelina are having a family with no marriage! These famous examples are just a few that make marriage just that more confusing.

The reason I brought this topic up was because I asked a married friend how things were with her husband and she replied with "He drives me crazy"! Now I know she is madly in love with him and their marriage is good, but they are young and now they are struggling financially which is the biggest reasons couples get divorced. point you wait, like Guiliana and Bill when you're financially secure and know yourself, or do you marry that college sweetheart when you realize you don't want to be with anyone else?!

Growing up, my dad always told me to enjoy life while I didn't have bills and huge responsibilities. Yet, we all seem to want to grow up faster. For myself, it's important to be ready and smart about marriage but I understand why people get married so young! It is hard, when you're in love, to resist the want to be together 24/7 and get marriage crazy! Some people are still in their party phases or career driven while others are ready to settle in the end I guess there is no right answer about when marriage should happen! It's a logical decision coated with love!

I've come to the conclusion that the fairy tale idea of marriage does exist but marriage is also hard. I think it's best to have a stable foundation that you and your lover can build off of. Be in love and don't let problems affect your life! And make sure you truly are best friends because you're stuck together forever! Of course I am no expert, these are just the things I believe and have observed. I hope that when my day comes it will be the right decision! 

My role models for marriage are Will and Jada Pinket-Smith who once said "Divorce is not an option", I think that is the best piece of advice because my parents have been married for almost 25 years and they have definitely gone through they're fair share of bumps in the road, thankfully they have stuck through it and are still married today. 

Love is great and marriage is a new journey of life and I wish the best to those who have just married!


  1. Love this blog lovey!!

    That's the hard part of living in Utah... you think you have it bad watching your friends get married? I'm 23 and all my friends are on their second baby now. At first it makes me sad because I'm not even in a relationship, but then I stop and realize "Why would I want to be?" Relationships right now should be fun because in your 20's you should really try to figure who you are and what you want in your life. I'm not the same person I was even just a few years ago!! It keeps changing, and I know my views on a boy keeps changing as well. However, I would like to date someone that I could see it going somewhere with. I am getting tired of the "random flings" that end, and the hurt of dating someone. You and your boy are cute, and I say keep it going and if you two are meant to be together, you will be. I think by putting marriage off for a while it does great things actually. My parents got married at 21, and got a divorce in their 30's. They were too young, they had changed a lot and their views of life.

    Anyways I'm ranting!! I love you :)

  2. Oh the cutest girl! You're not ranting at all! Life is crazy and I'm glad we can share our thoughts together! your advice is great, love you!

  3. LOVE Guiliana and Bill! I just bought a book by her, "Think Like a Guy: How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One"... hopefully after reading this I'll find myself a hottie hubby like sweetheart Bill :)