20 things about ME!

Since I wanted everyone to make their own post about themselves, here is mine. Once I started the list I was surprised at how easily I realized these traits about myself (I began with 10 things and ended up with 20).

1. I love candy! I have the biggest sweet tooth :)
2. Music is my way of feeling when I don't have my own words to express it. I always want to find music that hasn't been played on the radio!
3. I have always considered myself a hopeless romantic, but maybe not so hopeless anymore...
4. I love to take bubble baths and read or eat ice cream while I'm in the tub. 
5. I enjoy being in control, I always seem to be in charge.
6. Despite #5, I admit it's nice to be a follower, maybe because I get tired of being in control.
7. I like to do/learn new things. 
8. I believe the only reason I have low self esteem at times or worry is because I have heard how other people judge/criticize others and I don't want to be the one being talked about. 
9. I am so close to my parents and am so thankful for our relationship, but sometimes I wish their opinions didn't influence me so much.
10. I am somewhat of a perfectionist, not OCD at all, I just like to make something perfect when I do it.
11. I love clothes and shopping!
12. It is harder for me to write when I am forced to write, when I write what I want, I could do it all day everyday!
13. I am superstitious, ask any of my friends, I always make them knock on wood and we can ever walk on opposite sides of a pole...
14. I don't necessarily have an opinion when it comes to politics, I don't really care much about it, except for a few issues. 
15. I am OBSESSED with cafe rio, I could eat it every week or every day and not get sick of it!
16. I can be weird/dorky but it is sometimes hidden by my shyness and because of #8.
17. I am old fashioned when it comes to believing that the man should take charge.
18. I tend to procrastinate things unless I am really excited about it.
19. I dislike being late or waiting on people.
20. I like to be active and do things outdoors, even if my lazy bum stays indoors most of the time...

I could probably make this list even longer, which makes me feel like I have always known who I am, I may have just been a little tainted.

Tainted

Have you ever heard the phrase, "I need to find myself" or "I don't think I know who I am"? Well I've been thinking a lot about this lately. You would think that as we grow older, it would be easier to discover ourselves but many of us seem to struggle.

I myself have felt the desire to find myself, these moments have come after break ups with boyfriends, feeling like i have no hobbies, or stalking someone on Facebook and thinking "I am not as cool as them, and my life is definitely not as exciting".  But recently, I've come up with a theory. I believe that the reason we feel like we need to "find" ourselves is because we have been tainted.

Think about when you were a child. Now, think about the things you loved and enjoyed to do. As you think about those things, think about whether or not someone made you like those things. Probably not.

I am nannying a two-year-old and he does what he wants. He told his mom he wanted to grow his hair out, because that's what he likes. He plays with cars because that is what he enjoys. He doesn't want to put the broom away because he wants to touch the ceiling with it.

My point is, when we were kids we were not tainted by anybody's opinion or the latest trend. I believe many of us struggle to find out who we really are because we tend to follow what is cool or do what your HOT crush likes to do or wear what looks good on her. And once we mold ourselves into what we see, we tend to lose touch with who we really used to be.

Sometimes, these outside influences help us discover what we enjoy and who we would like to be, but if you find yourself struggling to be content with yourself- go back to the basics. Think about the dreams you had as a kid, what made you happy, what you would tell your friends that you liked and apply it to today. Much of it could be the same, which will help you understand who you are :)

In fact, anyone who reads this, I want you to make your own post about what makes you, YOU. Share 5, 10 or 20 things that are unique about yourself. You'll be surprised that you know more about who you are than you think, and you may not need to continue "finding yourself".

Food moods

With winter coming up, it's common to fall into a little depression slump. I was on Doctor Oz's website and learned that 40% of our happiness comes from what we do ourselves such as exercise, eating, etc. I also found this cool article about 3 foods that can make you happier!

1) MILK: It produces serotonin which is the chemical that makes our bodies happy. One glass of milk can help you be alert and awake and in a good mood!

2) WALNUTS: They have omega 3 fats which make you less prone to depression and it makes people easier to get along with. Walnuts, pecans and pistachios are the nuts that have the highest levels of omega 3.

3) VITAMIN B: The vitamin B12 is great at fighting depression and can boost your mood. In fact, a lack of B vitamin can give you fatigue or make you anemic. There are different B vitamins, but B12 can be found in meat, poultry, egg yolk and milk. 

Let's just say i'll be loading up on these foods during the winter!

While on the topic of food moods, I found another article that explains what kind of mood you are in when you crave certain types of foods.

• If you crave tough foods, like meat, or hard and crunchy foods, you could be feeling angry.
• If you crave sugars, you could be feeling depressed.
• If you crave soft and sweet foods, like ice cream, you could be feeling anxious.
• If you crave salty foods, you could be stressed.
• If you crave bulky, fill-you-up foods, like crackers and pasta, you could be feeling lonely and sexually frustrated.
• If you crave anything and everything, you could be feeling jealous

 Hope ya'll find this as interesting as i did! Thanks Dr.Oz!!

My weakness is food

It's sad...because when I found the picture above I immediately thought "mmmm how yummy" and my mouth started to water. No joke. Which is why I have made a goal to eat healthier!

I enjoy eating out, just like any normal person. Burgers, pasta, chinese food, you name it! I am obsessed with cafe rio, ask any of my friends, and I recently had a taco bell addiction. Literally an ADDICTION!! I had taco bell 4 times in 48 hours....luckily I flushed my random binge out of my system and now I want to get back to working out and taking care of myself.

It's crazy how food, especially bad food, can affect your energy, mood, skin and weight. I've always been active but now that I've lost my mojo it's time to get back on track.

I researched how long it takes cravings like sugar and fat to leave your system and it's 28 days. My strategy is to substitute sugars with fruit, drink more water, exercise and gradually decrease the sugary and fatty foods I eat.  I'll update my progress, hopefully it won't be too hard. I'm going to a 5:30AM work out class tomorrow, so I guess I'm starting my 28 day cleanse with a bang!

Marriage, the end or beginning?

I was hesitant to first bring this topic up because I don't want anyone to think I am marriage crazy (especially since I am in a relationship). But I couldn't help myself because it is everywhere! At least half of the girls from my graduating class are married, my best friend was recently married, facebook is loaded with wedding pictures, and celebrities are getting hitched left and right!

So with all the hype, the rings, the dresses and the googly eyed engagement pictures I began to wonder...Why do people get married?


The easy answer is to have kids or because two people are in love...but people are having babies without getting married and everyone falls in love more than once, sometimes.

In Utah, it's common for people in their early 20s to tie the knot and they love to share their journey with all their friends on facebook or through a blog, making it easy to get sucked into all the marriage hype. DON'T DENY IT! I know every girl sits on facebook and stalks all the new couples who have gotten married and begins thinking about their magical day.  But, is it the glitz and glam of weddings that grabs our attention? Or it is the lifelong commitment we desire that brings an end to those miserable blind dates and broken hearts?

I know it is both, yet with divorce rates so high I wonder when the right time is to be married! Guiliana and Bill Rancic were married in their late 30s and they seem like they've got their act together!

Courtney Cox and David Arquette seemed to have the perfect marriage...but now it's falling apart in the public eye. Oh! And what about Miley Cyrus' parents? After 17 years, they called it splits! On the other hand, Brad and Angelina are having a family with no marriage! These famous examples are just a few that make marriage just that more confusing.

The reason I brought this topic up was because I asked a married friend how things were with her husband and she replied with "He drives me crazy"! Now I know she is madly in love with him and their marriage is good, but they are young and now they are struggling financially which is the biggest reasons couples get divorced. So...my point is...do you wait, like Guiliana and Bill when you're financially secure and know yourself, or do you marry that college sweetheart when you realize you don't want to be with anyone else?!

Growing up, my dad always told me to enjoy life while I didn't have bills and huge responsibilities. Yet, we all seem to want to grow up faster. For myself, it's important to be ready and smart about marriage but I understand why people get married so young! It is hard, when you're in love, to resist the want to be together 24/7 and get marriage crazy! Some people are still in their party phases or career driven while others are ready to settle down...so in the end I guess there is no right answer about when marriage should happen! It's a logical decision coated with love!

I've come to the conclusion that the fairy tale idea of marriage does exist but marriage is also hard. I think it's best to have a stable foundation that you and your lover can build off of. Be in love and don't let problems affect your life! And make sure you truly are best friends because you're stuck together forever! Of course I am no expert, these are just the things I believe and have observed. I hope that when my day comes it will be the right decision! 

My role models for marriage are Will and Jada Pinket-Smith who once said "Divorce is not an option", I think that is the best piece of advice because my parents have been married for almost 25 years and they have definitely gone through they're fair share of bumps in the road, thankfully they have stuck through it and are still married today. 

Love is great and marriage is a new journey of life and I wish the best to those who have just married!

A Brand New Day

It's been a while since my last post, disappointing. But I have been so consumed with studying for the GRE that everything got put on hold.  Unfortunately...I need to take the GRE again. As much as I didn't want to have to take it again, I ran out of time on both sections of the test which is where I lost most of my points. I'll admit that the second I walked out of the testing room, I was overcome with emotion and tears. I was so upset that I had devoted so much of my time to studying and did worse than I had done on practice tests. I was ashamed and embarrassed which is why I'm surprised I'm even blogging about it. But there is a reason why I am. This came to me through a song by Joshua Radin called "Brand New Day", in it he sings:

"It's a brand new day, the sun is shining, it's a brand new day. For the first time in such a long long time, I know, I'll be ok." 

These lyrics made me think about something my dad has told me my entire life and another thing he recently told me. He's always said that life is hard. Of course, nobody wants to hear that, but it's the truth. And during one of those recent hard parts of life, he opened my eyes to something that has been in front of me all along. He said, "No matter what I've faced in life, it doesn't matter because I am thankful to wake up everyday and see the sun shining."
The thought is so simple, yet so profound because many of us don't take notice to the sight of a brand new day. We know the sun will rise and expect it to, but we don't seem to realize what it signifies.
It's easy to get lost in our troubles and problems and want to give up, but it's also easy to remind ourselves that the sun will always rise on a new day. As much as I would love to give up at times and crawl into a hole, I am thankful that I have people and things in my life that keep me going. It makes me take a step back and look at some of the things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for:
  

• The beautiful weather of Utah, although it is unpredictable, it sure is one of a kind.
• My dad, and my mom who are always there to give me great advice and shed light on the dark parts of life.
• My amazing friends who I can always turn to.
• The strength the Lord gives me every day to face life's opportunities, trials and blessings. 
• My internship that brings new experiences every day and helps me grow by teaching me so much.
• The talent of singers and songwriters who create amazing music that makes life happier and a little easier.
• Books, they allow me to broaden my knowledge and escape into a world of any kind.
• Technology, it connects me with all my friends and helps to open doors for great opportunities.  
• And I am thankful for SO MUCH MORE! But the thing that I am most thankful for, is the fact that I can experience these little lessons of life and enjoy the sun shining on a brand new day.

Oh, and as for my GRE. My amazing father told me to forget about what happened and try again because there is no reason for me to give up. I have the chance to take it again, so I should because I should never give up. He said that once I have my degree, nobody is going to ask how many times I took the GRE. Sometimes I think my dad is the smartest man in the world :) I love you mom and dad! xoxo

Don't worry, be happy

"The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future"

-Audrey Hepburn

This is one of my favorite quotes because I can deeply relate to it. Recently I have realized that life has been somewhat of a roller coaster. I'm sure many will agree with me when I say that just as great as one day can be, the next day can be a complete 360. When life is good, everything is great! But what do we consider good? Maybe you got out of a speeding ticket, had a romantic day with your crush or you were able to relax after a long week. Whatever your reason is, it doesn't seem to matter because everything is good. But what about those not so good days? Sometimes it's hard to even realize why one day has drastically changed the perfect pattern you had. We may blame it on a bad grade we recieved, being late or on that boy who never called. Whatever we blame it on, I've realized that they all have one thing in common, worrying.

The definition of worry:  a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems.

In my life I've noticed that my dimmer days have been shadowed by worrying. It's something that we all do. We worry about whether we will have a job, how to pay the bills, how we look, what to have for lunch, if our relationships will withstand the test of time and much more. But if you look back at this list, you will notice that many of those things have to do with the future.

We tend to worry about the future because we are uncertain about it. We don't know what to expect, and since our lives have always revolved around planning, we end up driving ourselves crazy. 

Now it's easy to say don't worry, be happy. But I've recognized that when I stop worrying, everything is back to being great! It doesn't take a single incident to make your day or your life great because life is good on it's own, but we tend to forget that when we start worrying about the little things or the big things that haven't even occurred yet. So how can we break the natural tendency we have to worry? 

I think its best to reverse the root of the problem. When you worry your mind is filled with racing thoughts. So clear your mind whether it is through exercise, meditation, or writing. I myself have a little combination. When my mind is racing to the point where I can't even distinguish my thoughts, I go running. After I have released that anxiety, I write my problems. Of course, the cure to worrying will be different for every one, but I've found that writing my problems down puts them on a piece of paper and out of my mind. 

It's so much more fun to enjoy the good things in life and live day by day in the present. Especially since when we look back into the past we realize that even when we thought it wouldn't get better, it did and life was good once again. When we worry about the things that have not arrived yet it causes us to forget about the present good. So my word of advice to myself and to you is: DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY. It may seem too simple to be possible, but give it a try and see how you feel!