Religious: I have several friends who are religiously committed and others who are atheist or agnostic. I would consider myself to be spiritual, but at times I want to be religious, yet other times it stresses me out because it's so complicated, but I know it is probably worth it. Why is it that some must have a purpose in life while somebody else can just live life without having all the answers? How can a person decide what is best for them and what they need?
Marriage: Living in Utah we have an engagement announcement every week (currently I cannot see my actual fridge because it is infested with wedding invites). Obviously marriage and family is a popular lifestyle here, many of my close friends are getting married and I am so excited for them. When it comes to me...I know I want this, but I get nervous. Is this the type of lifestyle I want to pick right now? Or maybe in one year, two, seven...? When is the right time, is there even a right time? It's almost as though I'm watching everyone else test trial it and then I'll decide haha jk.
Traveler/Career: It blows my mind how many driven women there are out there. The ones who travel to NYC or Europe to find themselves or work for a huge big city corporation. It takes balls to move to a foreign place and start a new life. I am curious to move outside of the bubble (Utah) but I'll admit...I like the bubble. I enjoy being able to walk downtown and not get mugged, although I do watch too much 'Dateline NBC' and wish I carried pepper spray with me. Am I the kind of person who desires to be career oriented and be the CEO of the world? Yea I want to have my own Malibu mansion and travel to each corner of the earth, but I feel like this lifestyle isn't always as family oriented as I would like.
Celebrity: Yes, once upon a time I was convinced I was going to be famous. Be Miss USA, a Victoria's Secret model, or A-list actress. I could still be, I've seen a handful of my friends on the big screen as I sit in the movie theatre munching on my average life popcorn. This fantasy of celebrity will always be appealing but again, we've got the pros and cons. It is a fast pace life with no guarantees but it obviously has it's perks. Do I have the star quality in me?
Education: I've always been good at school, but I did it for 14 years and now I'm crazy enough to consider two more years. Yet, what about those geniuses who get their Ph.D or become professors. Is education all that important to me? True, I was accepted to USC for a master's program...but do I want to go because the economy tells me I will earn more money with a Master's degree? Because I want to specialize in a certain profession? Or do I just desire to move to California and be on my own? Maybe... (d)- all the above??
Go-Getter/Entrepreneur: Those people who can't sit still, who plan to write a best selling novel, have famously followed blogs, the ones that follow their wild dreams or who travel somewhere to meet up with complete strangers...just because. Why can't I be so spontaneous and have a sense of what I want in life. Why am I not the one who starts trends, do I just follow the crowd? Am I the kind of person to take chances? I feel as though I take things as they come instead of making my own path. After all, it is somewhat easier...
So here I am...trying to make sense of it all, how do we go about picking a lifestyle...or does it pick us? I apologize if you find my rambling pointless (if you even read this far)...but I have begun to feel as though my twenties have become a crucial moment in my life, especially considering the fact that I graduated college and have been in the real world for a whole year now!
I thought living day by day and doing the expected things (get a job...go to school) would be enough. Yet, I seem to desire more, and ideally I want to have a small piece of each of these lifestyles, but is that possible??? Can I be religious while still being around people who party and be married but get an education while still pursuing a dream as I travel? I can only hope! I'm sure it is possible, but maybe I can have it all but in different phases in my life and not all at once. But I do want it all NOW, AT ONCE! Just like Veruca on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory..."But I want it right now!"
I envy the type of people I have talked about, I wish I could "know it all". But maybe the ones I have observed don't know it all, they "just do it" (thanks Nike). This post may have no direct message, but I feel as though it is a struggle many of you could relate to (and I needed to place my thoughts in order), nevertheless I could regret posting this, but no I won't. I'm going to take a chance and take that step to live my life, any life :) After all...
"To get something you never had,
you have to do something you never did"